Emmett is nine weeks. I can't believe it! The last nine weeks have been...challenging. You might want to take note of this because I don't usually admit to things being anything but "perfect." Don't get me wrong, the last nine weeks have been wonderful but it has definitely been an adjustment and as much as I have kept up with everything to a point.... this week I think I crashed.
It is not my baby. He is healthy and happy and absolutely wonderful in every way. He sleeps good, eats good, and loves being with his family. He smiles and coo's and brings me so much joy.
It's not Braxton. He is a huge help! He is smart and enthusiastic and the sweetest boy I have ever known. He is thoughtful of the whole families needs and the first person to continually tell me how much he loves me.
It is not Adelle. She is my sunshine every day. She loves to be the big sister and is anxious to do any responsibility I ask of her. She is spunky and daring and adds so much spice to my life. She is always on the go and always trying new things. She makes me smile.
So the problem? Me! I know it's me. It has been me the whole time. I have this standard I have set for myself to have everything in order, all of the time! It's become a bit draining. I will proudly say that with two kids I was pretty much on the ball. I will humbly say that with three, I have been struggling with how to balance all the many needs of my family and my home, my calling at church, my social commitments,my friends...It has been difficult. I am hard on myself. I have a do-list that every single day is left with something that did not get done.How do I do everything in 24 hours? What do I leave un-done?
Yesterday my mom (I love her) sent me this inspiring email that was exactly what I needed to read to start my day. The quote below was spoken to my heart at the perfect time.
“Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.” – “Favorite Quotations from the Collection of Thomas S. Monson,” p. 273
It changed my perspective. It helped me to appreciate that time outside with my kids is worth leaving the lunch dishes in the sink. It reminded me that my husband doesn't care what the house looks like when he gets home as long as I meet him at the door with a "kiss me like you mean it" attitude. And life....well it's busy, and if you waste your time stressing over the small stuff you miss out on the simple pleasures.
With that....I am still Andrea. I still like things in order. But I am working on being gentle with myself. My priorities are set and aspirations are high and although I may not be able to master everything TODAY. I will master everything in time.
10 comments:
I have to say it really made me feel better about myself to read this inspiring post. I always figured you had everything together all the time and everything was no problem. Even though rationally it would make sense that you could have a hard time with something, anything... you just always seemed to be so put together and organized and...EVERYTHING!
As crazy as it sounds it is so nice to hear another Mommy's stuggles or challenges because it allows me to see how nobody is perfect all of the time, so why do I try to hold myself to a standard of perfection. And not only that but to see what things are helpful to you and when I am faced with the same struggles I can remember what you went through and think "if Andrea can do it, so can I."
Seriously thank you SO MUCH for sharing this with us all, it's so great to be reminded to stop being so hard on ourselves. You are such an inspiration to me and I appreciate all that you do!!
First off, you are the most incredible mom I know. You constantly amaze me. Some of the things you do with 3 kids, I can barely manage to do with 1. I think this post will touch all moms in a different way but for sure make us all realize that the time we spend with our children and husbands is way more important than that "to do list" we all have and struggle over.
I'm getting how you feel, with 2 I was able to get everything done and more, but the last few days, I can't get anything done and I feel so terrible that I can't even get my floors swept, thanks for this post!
You are amazing Andrea! In all that you do you give so much effort and love. I have had a hard time letting it be known that I and my life are not perfect, but then again no one expects perfection out of us except ourselves! I have found that instead of listing off the things I did not get done or what went wrong, count the positives! Something like having a great day outside with the kids is HUGE and better than having a clean house if you ask me (plus the house gets dirty right away anyway). Way to go on having a wonderful family and 3 great kids!
ya know, it's funny cause someone asked me how you were handling all three and my response was "well I am not real sure cause she would never let on like anything is less than perfect, even to me" you do ALWAYS try to keep it together and you succeed most of the time:) I know that even in these trying times your kids still have homemade organic meals 3 times a day your husband gets lots of love and warm meal on the table and you have made flashcards and spent hours teaching your kids verses out of the scriptures cause that is just how on top of it you are, even in these crazy times can't even mention what goes on at your house when you feel great! that class was so overwhelming for me and yet I know that is just how you live. Vashti we aren't off the hook, even andrea's bad day would put anyone else to shame. hahahahaha
It is a lot of work being a mom and trying to be the best you can be. I can totally relate to this, how to choose what to leave out when everything is so important. Sometimes I think I don't want to be perfect I just want to be good at being their mom and his wife. I don't have the answer either but being more gentle with yourself is good advice. Thanks for the reminder!
April
Amen, sista'
I LOVE this post.
I remember that book in my "era" since I know how young you are, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff". It's really true. We always went out on a sunny day no matter what the house looked like, because you know the next day it will rain--just like today! You do an amazing job. I think you are a fabulous mom, and it shows in Braxton.
mimi
I love the honesty of this post! Child number three seems to always be the point of having to let some things go. It was when I realized that my to-do list was never going to get all the way done, but that my kids were only getter older every day. Enjoying them is really my only daily priority these days. Anything else I happen to get done is just bonus!
I love reading your blog - you are such an amazing example to me!
YOu are an absolutely amazing mother an wife Andrea!! At the end of the day or really at the end of the next 20 plus years of children in your home they will not remember if your house was clean or if you got all of the chores done they will only remember that you loved and supported them. I always tell myself that God chose me to be Elliot and Graces mom much as he has chose you to be Braxton, Adelle and Emmetts Mommy. He knew you would be exactly what they needed and it has nothing to do with your to do list. I have been blessed in watching you mother your babies and you are fabulous at it. So wake up tomorrow and start over knowing you are just the woman for the job.
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