the little/big brother

 wearing Braxton's pjs

 wearing Braxton's jersey and shorts (and yes he painted his own face)

making cocoa for all of us

I don't refer to Emmett as the middle child. He's not the only one in the middle. To me, he is the little/big brother. The only one in the family who has that title. Two roles he takes very seriously.

I often ponder on birth order. How where you are born in the series of siblings can influence your personality. I am fascinated by the theory's and how I see them play out in the lives of my family and now my children. I think it's a real thing and one that as a parent that I try to defy the laws of. Sometimes I feel like I am swimming upstream. I want my middle kids to have the attention the oldest one did. I want my baby to get time with just me. I want my oldest to be bossed around a little by his siblings to see what it feels like... you get the idea.

Emmett pulls on some unique heart strings of mine. Ones that only he can pull on. He is such a mild child. Contemplative way beyond his years and yet so tender. He is wise and I think from early signs that he is a bit of a perfectionist. He has more anxiety than any of my other kids and when he can't do something the best, he doesn't want to do it. This is a hard place, as the mom, to be on the outside of. 

I see him try and be like his big brother. I watch them race around in the backyard and I see Braxton babying him constantly. Of course Emmett can't win a race against Braxton on his own. He's 4 years younger. Does that mean he always feels defeated? Monday, when there was no school. I had a backyard full of kids, our own and two others that I watch on Mondays. They are all playing tag. Braxton is the ring leader. He chases the other kids at full stride and then slows down and let's Emmett tag him. Minimal effort on Emmett's part. Next was soccer. "Okay guys, Emmett's on my team!" he announced only to hear groans and complaints from the other kids who wanted to be on Braxton's team too since he was the biggest and the best. Nope. The decision was already made 3 1/2 years ago when Emmett was born. They were a team.

Emmett is a giver. If he has something and someone else wants it, he just gives it to them. Adelle has gotten her way for a long time thanks to Emmett's selfless personality. He's baby #3. Is that why? He's just used to sharing things. I think he's always known that things don't really matter. Who needs things when you have super cool brothers and sister. 

Braxton is Emmett's hero as of late. This doesn't bother Brax one bit. Emmett likes to wear Braxton's clothes, play whatever he's playing and just be in the same vicinity as Brax when he is home. In the mornings he often comes out wearing an outfit that he and Braxton arranged. Then he walks around with a strut, like he's pretending to be Brax. It's so funny and he is laughing the whole time. 

When Braxton is home Emmett gets into his toys. If Braxton collects something, bottle caps right now, then Emmett collects them too. Since Braxton has more than 100 and Emmett only has 2, Braxton passes some of his on to Emmett so Emmett has more. Is this why Emmett is so mild? It's the whole nature/nurture question that I frequently ask. 

If you ask Emmett to say the prayer at anytime he will say, "yes please." It's the sweetest thing in the world. The other day he after Braxton got some money from the tooth fairy the kids were talking about how the tooth fairy knew the tooth had been lost and Emmett said, "because the tooth fairy knows everything just like mom and dad know everything." Then while we were playing in the playroom on another occasion last week he thoughtfully looks at me with all honesty and says, "Mom, I wish I was a girl so that I could be a mom when I grow up." When I asked him why he wanted to be a mom he said, "because mom's turn on the music in the car and sing and dance and dad's just drive." So honest and sweet.

Emmett has really sensitive feelings. Maybe because he's been quite babied by his older siblings? Or maybe not. Sometimes if you look at him wrong he gets his feelings hurt and cries. It's so sad, and at the same time worrisome for me to think what would happen to him in the real world. I think watching the three little boys that I watch on various days is helping. They aren't his siblings. They don't give him everything he wants or let him win the games. They don't constantly praise everything he does like his older siblings do. They just play like boys and sometimes he likes it, and sometimes he doesn't. 

Emmett is also a goofy goofster. He is the one who you will find shaking his booty on the dancefloor or anywhere for that matter. He is the one who makes funny jokes and sings songs that make no sense but make everybody laugh. He is the one that says, "are you kidding me," when someone says something unusual. He's super witty and funny and something most people don't expect of him. When he isn't happy with Adelle he scolds her, "Adelle Dawn!" and it's funny for two reasons: one, that's her middle name, and two Jeff and I never say that so he totally came up with it on his own. 

As far as the glasses go it really bothered me at first that Emmett needed glasses for his amblyopia. In my head it was like so unfair. Neither Jeff or I have ever needed glasses, why Emmett. I felt sorry for him as I anticipated him being bullied because of them or not being able to run around as fast or catch balls as easy as the other kids. Emmett however, has proven stronger than I am once again. His glasses don't even phase him. He puts them on in the morning and takes them off for bed. That's it. The eye doctor told me when she wrote the prescription that he was going to hate them. She honestly said, "you are going to have to fight him everyday to put them on and you may even need to bribe him." Nope. Not a sign of that has been apparent. The doctor also told me he was the most well behaved 3 year old she had ever had in the hot seat. He's just that awesome. The night I got home from the eye doctor with the diagnosis I cried to Jeff after the kids were in bed. I told him it wasn't fair and asked what Emmett ever did to deserve glasses. I went on and on and asked what Emmett was supposed to learn from this "trial" as I put it. My dear husband looked me straight in the eye and said, "maybe he isn't supposed to learn anything. Maybe this lesson is for you to learn and it's through Emmett getting glasses that you are going to learn it."  He nailed it.

And so life goes on. It's just fun to see who your kids are and try and come up with why they are that way.