Wednesdays Redifined

This post has been a work in progress. I hope I can express my honest feelings without sounding over analytical or like an emotional wreck. I am both, at times.

A couple weeks ago I was released from my calling as Young Women President. For those who don't understand what that means I will briefly explain. The church I attend does not have any paid ministry. Every person who serves in the church does so without temporal payment. Not without blessings, but without getting paid. The different services we render to each other are called callings. Callings come from the Lord. Leaders pray to call the person whom the Lord would like in each position. It's a lot to wrap your brain around sometimes but I can testify that it's real and it's amazing. So, the calling I had had, for the last six years, was working with the young women ages 12-18. First I was a counselor and then I was the president. Six years is a long time. It's longer than I have had 3 of my 4 children. And then one day. It's done. Done, meaning it wasn't my responsibility anymore. I was released from the calling.

When I got called as the 2nd Counselor Braxton was our only child. He was about a year old and I was longing for another baby. I wanted a baby girl. It would be perfect and I knew Brax would be the greatest big brother any girl could ever have. Adelle was the only child we ever tried to have and by tried I actually mean worked really hard at. I wanted her about a year and a half before I had her and during that time there were some dark days.
Getting called into Young Womens was a blessing. It gave me something to think about and distracted me from my constant desire to have another baby. It required me to be gone every Wednesday night after dinner. This is when we have our weekly meetings which are fun and spiritual and uplifting and skill building and all around great to be a part of. I looked forward to Wednesday nights. I looked forward to Sundays when I could teach the lessons and interact with the girls. I loved the relationships I was able to build and the role I was able to play. I also grew. My testimony strengthened as I prayed for them and as I heard about the challenges they were facing in their lives I would pray harder and with more faith.

So fast forward a couple years. I have Adelle, I have Emmett, and then when Emmett is 3 months old they call me to be the Young Women's President. It was mostly the same thing, but with added responsibility. Now I planned the meetings, attended more meetings, and was overall responsible for how the whole program was being ran. It was a lot. It was inspired. I was a big girl.

Two weeks after I was called to be President, Jeff was laid off from his job. The next 2 years would be the most trying and heart wrenching of my life, this far. But how great was my joy! I forced myself to rise to the call and The Lord poured out His blessings upon me and my family. By no coincidence did these events happen at the same time. It was essential to my well being, to His plan for me, that they did. I was steady and diligent and engaged in a good cause and I was abundantly blessed with nothing short of miracles.

My study increased, my faith intensified, my heart endured, my soul believed, my dreams became a reality, and the Lord in his mercy continued to use me to carry out his work. The power that I felt was not mine but was given me with assignment to love and care for those girls. I did. I do.

And then at the end of the year it came to an end. I was released. No more Wednesday night activities. Remember I have been gone every Wednesday night for most of my children's whole lives. No more early Sunday meetings. No more planning and executing and phone calls and lesson manuals and schedules and dances and camp and budgets and programs and emails and announcements and themes and.... no more.

It's a good end. My work was done. It's someone else's turn. I learned what I was to learn, and hopefully I did all I was supposed to do. But now what? That's the hard part. I feel like part of me was released with the calling. I loved the responsibility. I yearned for the challenge, the duty. I loved the interactions I was able to have and the relationships that were strengthened weekly. I love to be needed. I love to love others. I love teenage girls. I loved how it forced me to be in my scriptures, to seek the Spirit to be with me.

I am thankful for the past 6 years. For the growth I have experienced. For a loving Father who knew what I needed and who was with me when I did seek. For the never ending support my husband gave me. For the Young Women I have known and do know and love. For the women I have worked with. For the many lessons I have learned and for the humility I have felt. It's all been good, even the bad ended up being good. So this too, this new chapter whatever it is, will also be good.

As for Wednesday nights. I am home now. Hanging with my homies. Reading books. Doing homework. Washing dishes. And I must say Sundays too are nice now that I get to do my little girl's hair for church and not have to leave that to her daddy anymore. :)